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The Deal with the Manosphere

first date advice, first online date, online dating advice, meaning of an open relationship, alpha male traits

I’ve been trying to keep quiet about this. Really, I have. I try to stay focused here on self-improvement. Any time I discuss the manosphere, red pill, or anyone in particular in the manosphere, things tend to get fired up and the drama starts flying. That’s okay, since the more drama I get, the more traffic I get and the more money I make. The problem is that I’m the busiest I’ve ever been in my entire life right now, and that’s saying something. People often forget that this entire Blackdragon / Alpha Male 2.0 business is a part-time business that represents only a percentage of my income and work time. I have two other completely unrelated companies that also require my time, as well as two other blogs (and children and my travel and my women and fitness and reading…damn…it’s a good thing I’m a time management consultant).

This means I need to be careful about where I do and do not spend my time. For example, last year I cut back on my business blogging (though I still post regularly), slashed the time I spent on one of my other businesses by 40% and stopped posting on forums completely. It’s what I had to do.

That being said, shit has been going down all over the manosphere lately, as most of you know. One of us has even acquired not just national news, but world-wide news recently. I’m getting emails asking for my opinions on this stuff. In addition, I’m getting complaints from fellow manosphere contributors and readers when I make posts about how I don’t care about what’s going on with men in the world.

So I can’t remain silent on this any more. To be clear, everything that I’m about to say I mean with 100% conviction. What I’m about to say is not an act, satire, or marketing ploy. It’s what I really believe. This post is also longer than normal because I want to be as complete as possible. I’ve broken it up into six parts for easier reading.

Part One: I Don’t Care

I’ve said this many times, and I’ll say it again. I don’t care about creating a movement. I don’t care about changing the world. I don’t care about saving the world. I don’t care about saving men. I don’t care about saving Western society.

  • I don’t care if men dumb enough to get married get financially raped in divorces.
  • I don’t care if men dumb enough to assume monogamy from a woman get cheated on by their wives or girlfriends.
  • I don’t care if men dumb enough to not manage their finances correctly get raped by their governments via taxes and/or oppressive regulations.
  • I don’t care if men dumb enough not to move out of their corrupt, collapsing countries get overrun by third-world immigrants (coughEuropecough).
  • I don’t care if men dumb enough to go to college get screwed by these insane “yes means yes” laws.
  • And so on.

I. Don’t. Care.

Western society is already fucked, economically and culturally, and there is no saving it at this point. I’ve discussed the numerous reasons for this many times over several different blogs. The last chance we had to save it was around the mid 1990s, and that was a long time ago. Your only option for long-term happiness as a man at this point is to radically change your lifestyle so that you aren’t affected by the West’s slow collapse into a left-wing shithole. This is what I teach.

This idealized version of the 1950s that many right-wingers harbor not only never existed, but certainly doesn’t exist any more, and will not return for at least another 100 years (at best). Things are going to get much, much worse before they get better (if they ever get better). There is no law you can pass or person you can vote for who will change this. There will be no revolution, political or violent, that will make any meaningful difference, even if Trump becomes president. I summarize why here, though many other articles at this blog explain the West’s unfixable cultural problems. I also have written extensively about the economic reasons over at the Caleb Jones Blog.

Moreover, as I describe here, I have no interest in helping a largely left-wing society that hates my masculinity and attacks me regularly for being man with normal, natural masculine desires and goals. So, not only can’t I help Western civilization, at this point I also don’t want to. The West did this to itself. Aliens from Mars didn’t do it. Immigrants didn’t do it. The West did this to itself. Now it must reap what it has sown. There’s no stopping it, no matter how sad or mad you or I are regarding what it once was.

On top of all this, the vast majority of men in the manosphere want to commit financial and freedom suicide anyway. I’ve already demonstrated here how most men are against men every bit as much as the worst feminists. I’ve also demonstrated here how around 76% of men in the manosphere want to “settle down” someday in some married, monogamous fashion, despite knowing everything about how legal marriage and long-term sexual monogamy no longer works in the modern day West. In a recent video, Neil Strauss let slip that when he asked his mailing list of PUAs if they wanted more information on monogamous or nonmonogamous relationships, 90% said they wanted information on monogamous ones.

Clearly, most manosphere men are not willing to change regardless of the information presented to them.

So,

1. Today’s Western society is economically and culturally screwed and there’s no fixing it.

2. Today’s Western society hates you if you’re a masculine man and doesn’t want your help.

3. The vast majority of you aren’t even willing to change any of your behaviors, despite all the pertinent information being supplied to you by hardworking folks like myself and others.

This is why I don’t care. So the next time you’re upset that I’m not “joining the fight,” or taking on the feminists, or fighting back against the blue pillers, or voting for Republicans, or becoming a men’s rights activist, or helping with a nonexistent revolution that will never happen, or whatever the hell else you want me to do, now you know why. Because of the clear reasons I’ve listed above and discussed in detail many times, these things would all be a huge waste of my time, and I really do have better things to do.

Do I agree with the views of groups like red pill, MRA (men’s rights), and MGTOW? Of course I do. If you’ve read more than two or three articles I’ve written, you already know that.

You may notice that I usually don’t use the term “red pill.” I do this on purpose. This is because there is no specific, widespread agreement on what this means. Ask five different red pill guys what exactly a red pill lifestyle looks like, and you’ll give five different answers. With terms like MGTOW this gets even worse, since there are very angry, anti-sex MGTOWs who think any form of pickup or relationship management is evil and destructive, yet there are also plenty of pro-sex MGTOWs (like me) who think women are wonderful beyond words as long as you control yourself and adamantly refuse to do certain things with them. So if you want to avoid useless arguments and wasted time, throwing around terms like “red pill” or “MGTOW” requires one to add a sentence or two describing which version you’re talking about. It’s clumsy and I’d rather not spend the time.

However, just because I avoid these terms doesn’t mean I disagree with their core concepts. I agree completely (and again, if you’re a regular reader you already know this).

Do I disagree completely with things like third wave feminism, socialism, mass immigration, and political correctness? Of course I do. Again, if you’ve read more than two or three articles I’ve written here or on the Caleb Jones Blog, you already know that. As a matter of fact, I’m an extreme libertarian minarchist. That means if you’re a right-winger, I’m against socialism and big government more than you are.

If you’re involved in any of these movements, I agree with your philosophical views on these things and I support you in spirit, but I’m not going to spend any time or money assisting you beyond what I’m already doing, which is publishing vast amounts of self improvement information for free. You’re fighting a battle that’s already been lost. The left already beat the right quite a while ago, culminating in the last few years with the re-election of an incumbent Obama in the middle of a bad economy, the passing of socialized healthcare in the US, the legalization of gay marriage, the mass immigration of Mexicans to the US and Muslims to Europe, the recent $1.1 trillion omnibus spending bill (supported by Republicans, who you right-wingers think are going to save you) and twenty other things I could list. The war is over, the left has won, the right has lost, and I’m sorry. I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s time to face facts.

If you still want to spend your time in these Change The World™ or Save The World™ or Save Men™ movements, I think you’re wasting your time, but I certainly won’t stop you. I think you should do whatever you find meaning in. It’s your life, do what you will. I have better things to do, like improve my own life and take care of my loved ones.

Part Two: Why I’m Here

Well, if you don’t care about any of this, why the hell are you here then Blackdragon? Do you give a shit about anyone, or are you just a selfish asshole?

That’s a valid question, and I’ll answer it. I’ve answered it before, but I’ll state it here to be very clear.

I don’t care about the plight of men, since, as I just described, most men have no interest in changing in order to find happiness, despite being aware of new modern conditions.

However, I do care about the few men who are interested in changing.

I care, deeply care, about the 5% of beta males who are tired of being slaves and the 5% of Alpha Male 1.0s who are tired of the drama. Based on my educated guess that 70% of men are betas and 25% are Alpha 1.0s, that 5% of both is about 4.75% of men total. If you add in the 5% of men who are already Alpha Male 2.0 (to some degree at least) that equals about 10% of men who I care about.

That 10% is who this blog is for. That’s who my book is for. Every word I write on these topics is for you guys, betas and Alpha 1.0s tired of women’s or society’s crap or Alpha 2.0s looking for a kindred spirit. I care deeply for each and every one of you. If you’ve ever communicated with me over email, or coached with me over the phone or Skype, you can probably tell from my voice and my vibe that I care strongly about your future as a happy man in our fallen, anti-man world.

I care about you guys, but I don’t care about the other 90% of men. They don’t like me anyway. If you’re a beta and want to stay one, I’m just going to seem like a jerk to you. If you’re an Alpha 1.0 and want to stay one, when I write about stuff like nonmonogamy, avoiding legal marriage, or anti-drama techniques like soft nexting, you’re just going to get upset and it’ll ruin your day. It happens all the time with committed, higher-drama Alpha 1.0s who read my stuff.

The solution is simple. If you’re a beta or Alpha 1.0 and want to stay that way, don’t read my stuff. Seriously, just go away. You’re not in my target market and very little of what I write will resonate with you anyway. If you’re a beta who wants to stay one, go read a Twilight novel. If you’re an Alpha 1.0 who wants to stay one, go to one of the angrier manosphere sites and go scream your head off over there. This is not the place for you.

But! If you’re a beta or Alpha 1.0 and truly want a better life, a happier life, one more congruent to happiness as a masculine man, a life of freedom, happiness, money, love, and sex, instead of anger, drama, and rules, then this is the place for you. I’m here to help. That’s why I’m here: to help you.

Why am I here to help you? Is it because I’m starting an Alpha Male 2.0 “movement?”

Nope. I don’t do movements. Instead, I’m here to make money. Since many of you secretly hate capitalism, let me explain how this works.

Guys like Roosh are here to create movements. Roosh has stated several times that his income isn’t that important to him and that he doesn’t really have any financial goals. I believe him. Since his goal is to create a movement and Save The World™, his operating model, as is many others in the manosphere, MRA, or red pill, is to rile up your emotions, find enemies for you to hate, and organize against those enemies.

That’s all fine, but I’m not here to create a movement. I’m here to make money. So my operating model is to provide value. If I provide value, as in actionable steps to improve your life as a man, you’ll likely buy some of my products or services at some point. Your life improves and I make money. Win / win. At the very least, you won’t buy any of my paid content but you’ll keep reading my free content, which creates traffic and buzz, and still makes me money. Again, win / win.

If I provide little or no value, I don’t make any money and I go out of business (and I would deserve it if that ever happened). That’s how capitalism works. Since I love money and consider my income as one of the most important things in my life, I have to make very sure I provide value here, at my other blogs, in my books, podcasts, and other products and services.

So, just so you know, everything I do here on this blog, or any of my blogs, is to MAKE MONEY. I’ve always been very clear, honest and up-front about that. Every blog post I write, every free or paid podcast I record, every contest I have, everything I do here is to make me money. If you find that my principles and techniques bring value to you (and I know they do, since they’ve all been field-tested and proven), then buy my stuff, read my content, and spread the word. If you think I suck, then never read my stuff ever again and don’t say anything about me to anyone so you don’t create more traffic for me. Again, it’s totally up to you.

If you hate that my goal is to make money, that’s fine. If you want to be part of a movement instead, that’s fine. Feel free to stop reading this blog at any time, click on any one of the manosphere sites listed on the right sidebar, and go scream your head off over there. I’m outcome independent so it really doesn’t bother me at all. The 10% of men who are compatible with my stuff is more than enough for me to accomplish all of my financial goals in this business even if you and your friends hate me. So it’s all good. Most importantly, you need to do what works for you.

I’m not saying that movement-guys never provide value. Of course they do sometimes. I’m not saying that I never rile up emotions and talk about our “enemies.” Of course I do sometimes. I’m just saying the core objectives are different. Most manosphere guys are movement-guys. I’m a capitalist. There’s a distinct difference, even though we all agree on the same core philosophical concepts.

What if you really like my concepts, agree with most of what I say, yet still want to be involved in these manosphere movements? That’s fine, go for it. There are many avid Alpha Male 2.0s or aspiring 2.0s who are heavily involved in this Saving Men™ stuff or Saving The World™ stuff. Perfectly cool with me. I’m not going to help, but I will still help you become a better, more free and happy man. As one of my customers once told me, “You don’t want to save the world, but you’ll help create many Alpha 2.0s, and they will save the world.” Not sure if I agree with that, but I don’t mind the sentiment, and if that happens, I’ll certainly take it. The goals of pursuing something that looks like Alpha 2.0 while still trying to Save Men™ are not in opposition at all.

Part Three: My Web Sites

As with any other successful internet content creator, I have many web sites with my name attached, both as Blackdragon and/or Caleb Jones. Some of these sites just have me as the sole author, though on these sites other people can comment. On some other sites, I don’t post at all and have other people contributing instead. Over time, there will be more and more of these sites. I have at least three more on the drawing board right now.

Occasionally, I receive angry complaints about things that other people say on the sites that I own.

“So-and-so on this site is a racist! Why do you support that BD?!?”

“So-and-so on this site is a right wing extremist! Why do you support that BD?!?”

“So-and-so on this site is teaching blue pill advice! Why do you support that BD?!?”

“So-and-so on this site is a fucking socialist! Why do you support that BD?!?”

I don’t support it. Just because it’s on a site that I own doesn’t mean I support it. I can’t believe I even need to say this. The internet has been mainstream for about 20 years now, and for some bizarre reason people still haven’t figured out that just because someone owns a site doesn’t mean that person agrees with 100% of everything said on that site by other people, even if the owner doesn’t delete that content. I have no interest in going through all these web sites and deleting every little thing I disagree with. Again, I have better things to do. Hell, these sites wouldn’t even work if I did that.

For example, one of the sites I own is a public forum, and a significant percentage of the advice that’s taught on there I disagree with. I also own a site devoted to female players. Again, much or most of the advice given on there I disagree with. The forum I own even has a few guys who angrily obsesses over me and lose their minds every time I make post.

Doesn’t matter. I don’t post to either of these sites. Those sites are not there to post content I personally agree with, they’re there to make me money. They are there to appeal to a target market outside of the 10% men that I care about who I communicate with here at this blog. Therefore, I don’t care what is said on those sites as long as they appeal to the target markets of those sites (PUAs for the NextASF forum, female players for Girls With Game site).

If you really hunt around on those sites, yeah, you’ll find blue pill stuff and other crazy crap I disagree with. Doesn’t matter. If you don’t like it, don’t read those sites. Remember, I’m not part of any movement, so if you feel they “damage the <whatever> movement,” I don’t give a shit. Go cry to someone who cares.

Part Four: The Manosphere Anger Problem

Now that I’ve covered my position within the manosphere, let’s talk about the manosphere itself.

By reading around various manosphere sites and forums, it’s clear to me that around 50% of manosphere contributors are men who are angry and want to be angry. I don’t mean 50% of the manosphere readers. I’m talking about 50% (or so) of manosphere contributors, those who write blog posts, forum posts, or comments on blogs. These are men who are extremely angry and apparently enjoy being angry. Most of them are clearly betas who haven’t had sex with a hot chick in a long time. (That would make me angry too. That’s why I make sure I get laid by hot chicks on a regular basis. It’s not that difficult once you take the time to practice the skill.) Others are high-drama Alpha Male 1.0s looking for reasons to be upset.

These men identify a group to hate, and join in with other men to hate the same group. The particular hated group varies based on the angry guy or angry site. These groups include:

  • Women
  • Feminists
  • Betas
  • Liberals (as in the American definition, i.e. left-wingers)
  • Conservatives
  • PUA gurus
  • Blue pillers
  • Other races (particularly Blacks, Jews, or Muslims)

Most of the bigger manosphere sites these days have identified one or more of the above groups, bashed the shit out of them, and have gathered other angry men who also hate those groups so they can all have a hate circle-jerk about how angry they all are.

Some of these guys are just satisfied at being angry, and love posting about how angry they are at their pet be-angry-at group. Others create exciting but useless movements to Fight Back™. They love the drama and the conflict involved. (You’ll see some of these guys make angry comments on this very post and likely mention their pet be-angry-at group. Just watch.)

If your goal in life is to be angry, then by all means, join these web sites, contribute to them and enjoy being angry. I’ll be over here being happy, since I’ve constructed a life where none of those above groups can negatively affect me. Exactly how to create such a life is exactly what my blogs and books are all about.

Are you seeing the difference between creating value and riling up emotions?

Part Five: The Manosphere Blue Pill Problem

This next problem with the manosphere is perhaps the most disappointing to me. It is causing mass confusion and chaos with millions of men who are consuming manosphere content. Sadly, it’s becoming worse as time goes on.

Many times before, I have discussed the pattern that most Alpha Male 1.0s go through. To summarize, they go through an Alpha/player phase where they go way overboard and have sex with a lot of girls, then they feel remorseful, lonely, or without meaning, then they surrender to the blue pill and go monogamous, often getting legally married. They then do a 180 and actually attack red pill / PUA / MRA / manosphere as horrible, even though they spent years of their lives immersing themselves in that world and living that life. In the long run, their new Guy-Disney lifestyle never works and they eventually get divorced or break up (since Disney doesn’t work even if Alphas try it). Then they start the process allllllll over again.

Now that the PUA/MRA/manosphere is maturing, big name guys in this world are getting older and leaping into the blue pill world, often doing this in extreme ways. I could, right now, list off about 15 decently-known manosphere guys who have done this, but for the purposes of brevity but I’ll keep it to three.

First there was Tucker Max, a guy who advocated an extreme player lifestyle, only to a few years later write a book about being a blue pill man and finding your “Ms. Right” so that you could settle down with her.

Then you had Neil Strauss, who was a hardcore PUA, fucked a bunch of women, then turned into a serial monogamist and had one dysfunctional monogamous relationship after the next. Then he got married, promptly cheated on his wife (big shock), discovered that monogamy doesn’t work (haven’t you ever read my fucking blog, Neil?) and wrote an entire book about how he checked into rehab to cure his “sex addiction.” No, I’m not kidding. I wish I was. (I’m reading the book right now, and will be reviewing it here when I’m done. It’s painful reading.)

Then you have Roosh, who of course became famous for his girl-banging all over the world, and has now done a blue pill 180 and is actually, and with a straight face, telling men to get married, be monogamous, have kids and I quote, “dedicate yourself to God.”

Are you getting the point yet about why I have no interest in saving men? When even the most informed of us keep making these same stupid mistakes? The manosphere is becoming blue pill. Those guys above are just three examples; I could list many more, from Mystery to Eben Pagan to AFC Adam to Charlie Sheen and on and on. All of these men have been divorced, or will get divorced, or in some cases get divorced again, because Alphas don’t have the ability to stay long-term monogamous, something I’ve been screaming to the rooftops publicly for almost a decade. None of these guys seem to be listening.

(To be honest, I have it on good authority that most of those guys have read this blog and are aware of my messaging. They just choose to ignore it. Societal Programming and Guy-Disney is just too powerful I guess.)

To be clear, I have nothing but respect for Neil Strauss, Roosh, Mystery, and all the rest of these guys. I think these are honest men who are legitimately trying to help others while trying to figure things out themselves. I have nothing personal against any of these guys and consider them my brothers. I have no hard feelings for any of them and I support what they’re doing for the most part (in spirit only of course, not in action, as I already explained above). These men paved the road for what I’m now doing on this blog, and I am forever grateful to them. If any of you guys are reading these words, thank you. Seriously, I wouldn’t be here without you.

At the same time, if you’re a manosphere reader and you want to follow men who spend their entire lives swinging from one dysfunctional extreme to the other, who never seem to have anything figured out for the long haul, then feel free to do so. I prefer to find what works and stick with it. All of my personal mentors are men like that, as I aspire to be. As always, I talk about long-term consistent happiness, not spending your life swinging from one unsustainable side of the pendulum to the other.

As I’ve said many times and discussed at great length, being a player and absolute sexual monogamy are both unsustainable conditions for a man. These are both temporary conditions that you will soon jump out of after a few years.

If you practice a “getting laid” lifestyle and that’s it, you’re in for a huge fall. It’s just a matter of time.

If you practice a “settle down with a good woman and have kids” lifestyle, you’re also in for a huge fall. Again, it’s just a matter of time. This isn’t 1952 any more.

If you want to be happy in the long run, the answer is somewhere in-between these two insane extremes (MLTRs, OLTR, or something similar). I’m truly baffled as to why I often seem to be the only manosphere writer who accepts this. It’s unfortunate.

Part Six: The Political Right and Left

I’m proud to be a part of the manosphere. I think, for the most part, the manosphere helps men who need help, and I’m interested in helping that 10% of men I mentioned above. I think the majority of bloggers and writers in the manosphere are good guys who are honest and trying to help. Yes, there are a few aspergers-psychos, anger management basket cases, and dishonest assholes in the manosphere / PUA / MRA / MGTOW realms, but thankfully I’ve found those to be the exceptions rather than the rule.

I am also a libertarian. This means I’m not a left-winger. I think big government, socialism, modern-day feminism, political correctness, mass immigration, young single mothers, and the welfare state are all horrible things, and have directly contributed to the inevitable downfall of the West.

However, this also means I’m not a right-winger. I think that any government laws restricting sex, marriage, divorce, (as long as everyone is a consenting adult) are oppressive and utterly ridiculous. We should be allowed to have sex with, have kids with, date, marry, or divorce anyone we want without the government saying one damn word about it (as long as everyone is a consenting adult). The more people having (protected) sex, the better. Sex is a good thing, not a thing to be feared. Sex is good for you and makes you happy.

I also think that organized religion is, while not a necessarily bad thing, a little insane, and believing in a mythical, disapproving sky god who tracks your every movement with a clipboard is absurd to say the least. I’m not saying I’m an atheist (I’m not, at least not quite), but believing in a Judaeo/Christian/Muslim “God” is not only another form of false Societal Programming, it’s one of the most insane ones society has come up with.

As I said above, the left wing has won the culture wars and the right wing has lost. Now on the losing side, right-wingers are very angry. This is why we’re getting so much right-wing anger in the manosphere from the “tradcons” (traditional conservatives). This also explains the enthusiastic support of people like Roosh and Donald Trump, which is confusing to so many. It’s not confusing to me at all.

I don’t blame them. If my team was in power and lost it, I’d be angry too. As a small-government libertarian and staunch manosphere guy, I also agree with them on most of the reasons why they’re angry.

Here’s the thing though. As a libertarian, I’m already accustomed to losing politically. When you’re a libertarian, you grow up your entire life never getting what you want and having everyone on both sides hate you. You get used to it. I’ve been a libertarian for over 20 years, and during that time (you libertarians can relate to this), you get accustomed to putting up with the left-wing’s secret hatred of money and the right-wing’s secret hatred of sex.

Right-wingers are now going to have to learn how to be out of favor like us libertarians have always been. It’s going to be a painful transition for them. You’re going to see a lot of right-wing screaming over the next decade or two, as the left-wing solidifies its control over the once great but now collapsing Western world.

I am also an individualist. Both left-wingers and right-wingers are collectivists. They believe that some greater authoritarian group (usually government, religion, or both) is perfectly justified in putting a gun in your face and forcing you to behave in ways that will make you less happy, but will theoretically be “good for society,” even if you’re perfectly innocent and aren’t doing anything to harm or infringe upon anyone.

Instead, I believe that as long as you don’t lie and don’t violate other people’s body or property, society should fuck off and leave you to conduct your affairs as you see fit. Society will always take care of itself. It always has. Even with all of these current problems, the entire Western world would be far better off if its governments were much smaller and had far less power. But since the West is controlled by collectivists on the right and the left who love centralized power and control over the individual, it’s headed for a fall (barring a radical technological revolution that changes everything, which I agree is possible).

Again, not that I care. As an Alpha 2.0, my money, sexual relationships and happiness will continue regardless of what happens to the Western world. A strong Mission, goals, outcome independence, entrepreneurship, diversified income, location independent income, low-consumption lifestyle, strong dating skills, nonmonogamy, recession-proof investing, international connections, high testosterone, good physical health, and everything else in the Alpha 2.0 package ensures that I’ll be happy no matter what happens to the Western world. Even if the entire West collapses tomorrow, it would be very sad and an inconvenience for me that would last several weeks, but the vast majority my income, livelihood, sex life, and happiness would continue on its cheerful path. (As a matter of fact, some of those things would actually improve.)

Which is the entire point here. Your personal happiness.

Thanks for listening.

The post The Deal with the Manosphere appeared first on The Blackdragon Blog.


Source: Dragon

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